When someone you love begins chemo your own experience is surreal. Especially if that someone is your child- even your fully grown child.
I found a rather bizarre parallel. It’s like watching them go bungee jumping. You stand there, not wanting to project your fears onto them. Is it lame to wish her good luck? Your mind races close to the speed of light; it must be that fast cuz everything else seems to be in slow motion. You know once she steps off that platform, there is no turning back.
…and there she goes. The list of ‘what if?’ questions is so long you never get to ‘why?’ And was it your imagination, or did one of Harry Potter’s enemy dementors just slip in and out of sight? How many times is this thing gonna go UP…or DOWN?
When she is back on solid ground do you grab her in a hug-or let her catch her breath? You try acting nonchalant, looking for clues on how to behave. You admire her courage, but keep it to yourself. You ask, “So, how was it?”
Her face is pale, but her eyes are bright. She says, “I’m gonna do this AGAIN.”
She was, and always will be my bouncy baby girl.
Friday, August 12, 2011
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