The Charms

When my daughter Shannon began chemotherapy, she started a bracelet of beads to commemorate each treatment in her journey. These are not the simple token dangles I remember as ‘charms’. These are objects d art and each bauble is rich in meaning. She had 12 treatments, and selected the right beads carefully. After one of the sessions, she showed me the bracelet’s work in progress. I admit to being charmed myself. It was a thing of beauty, but this is not a picture of it.

At Christmas time, Shannon presented me with my own ‘starter’ bracelet. She included a sparkly pink gem that would brighten even the gloomiest of days. There’s also a heart with the word “MOM” engraved on it. I could not believe my eyes when the dazzle of iridescence got my attention. That was one of her original beads.  You could say they all actually had the word ‘MOM’ engraved on them. Being the Mom, I can read words that others might not see.

It has taken, ironically, nine months to travel from the day she was diagnosed, to being declared in remission, to having the portal for chemotherapy removed at last. Being pregnant with her for nine months was much easier. I have been through birth with her, and I have been thru re-birth with her.  Both of these life events, and the thoughts and feelings that weave their way throughout, cannot be captured simply with words. Every heart and soul has a depth that has no vocabulary. All people smile in the same language, but there is no dictionary anywhere with a word for that.

And so we sometimes have to use symbols to communicate a meaning to others. My bracelet is one such symbol. Each charm will signify a time I spent with my daughter during this journey. The bracelet in the photo is mine. It celebrates life.

Tidings of Great Joy

Tidings of Great Joy
Originally uploaded by Moonflower Studio

‘Tis the season for “tidings of great joy…” and we have already received a goodly number of greetings. I have marveled at this.
Last year, the opportunity to send out Christmas cards flashed by faster than I could grasp. I vowed not to even open the ones we received until I got our own sent out. I never did, and I imagined many may have wondered if I’d given up on this quaint tradition.
I kept the unopened envelopes in view for all of 2011. I wanted to remind myself to never let this happen again. To quote Scrooge, “The spirits shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”
Time has almost gotten the better of me anyway this season. Still, as fast as the days have scurried by, the envelopes have come again. How wonderful it is to be remembered despite my 2010 tardiness. How delightful it is that this tradition continues, and that you have included us in yours.
You may think I am taking sentiment overboard, but I assure you little things DO count. That new Hallmark slogan is true, ‘Life IS a special occasion.’
This past year my daughter, Shannon Joy, was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Anyone whose life has been touched by cancer knows what a struggle it is. Being Shannon’s “Chemo-Buddy”, I‘ve witnessed her battle first hand. It has taught me a lot. I’ve been inspired by her courage and strength.
In early December her doctor gave us the results of her last PET scan. His words were “complete response to treatment” meaning there were no cancer cells to be found. She still has to finish her prescribed chemo treatment, but no extra rounds or radiation will be necessary.
Which brings us back to “‘tis the season” and “tidings of great JOY” I’d also have to add “It’s a wonderful life” and not one of these phrases is a cliché.
This Christmas, we wish every one of you all the blessings and joy you can hold.

Bella Buon Natale

There was a knock at the door around sunset. That made the young lady standing there harder to see. I opened the storm door and a small voice said "Merry Christmas!" brightly. She was holding a large tray of assorted Christmas cookies and candy canes, all carefully covered with plastic wrap. I was unsure of what I should do, so I replied "Merry Christmas!"
She lifted the festive tray higher and repeated her greeting. In stunned confusion and curiosity I muttered "Are you bringing me cookies?" She lifted the tray a bit higher. "Yes! Merry Christmas!" I took the tray from her outstretched arms. I did not recognize the young lady but her confectionery gift seemed to be wrapped in sincerity as well as plastic.  "Why?!" I asked. "Because my Mom said so...Merry Christmas!", she replied.
My guess was that this was a first for both of us. Her first delivery to a stranger, my first from a stranger. We were both unsure offer our roles. So I opted for impromptu FUN.
"Are you an ELF?" She giggled at the concept. "NoO0!"
"Then who ARE you?!"
"I am Bella ...from across the street. "
She waved her arm in a flourish as if the distance WAS to the North Pole.
I told Bella that I thought her name was beautiful. I told Bella I thought her name MEANT 'beautiful' in Italian. (She beamed at the recognition) I also told Bella that she had really made my day. I thanked Bella profusely ~ and then realized we still hadn't been introduced. I put out my hand and said, "Merry Christmas Bella, my name is Süsy."
She extended her arm and offered a warm handshake.
"Merry Christmas Süsy, I am Bella."
Yes you are Bella, yes you are.

Happy Candy Corn Birthday

Happy Candy Corn Birthday
Originally uploaded by Moonflower Studio

It was Halloween. It used to be a rather quaint little autumn festivity for children. It involved sweets.
But on that Halloween, the ‘tricky’ part was the labor, and the treat was one of the best days of my life.
On that Halloween, I had my first baby. I had a miracle happen. I made a miracle happen. A tiny little person with his very own heart and soul, mind and body arrived in this world. My Mom called him my “lil’ Punkin” I gave him a nickname as unique and special as he was. There was a chamber of my heart I hadn’t even known was there, and now it was filled.
In the years that have passed, he has gotten the cards, and the presents and the cake. You’d think everything special about that day was for him.
But I had a very blessed event that I got to hold close to my heart. I got a memory to cherish forever, and I am so glad he arrived to share it.
Happy Birthday Christopher! : D

Fan Of USA

Fan Of USA
Originally uploaded by Moonflower Studio

Normal Day,

Let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, savor you, bless you, before you depart.

Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it will not always be so.

One day I will dig my fingers into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky, and want more than all the world: your return.
-Mary Jean Iron

Remembering 9/11 and honoring the 'nobility of everyday life'

...and how are WE doing today?

...and how are WE doing today?
Originally uploaded by Moonflower Studio

Blood Donor Barbie wants to assure everyone that HOPE is a really good word. She is also expressing (OUR) gratitude for the warm thoughts and prayers sent our way. ♥
I've learned that September is "Hodgkin's Lymphoma Awareness Month" and the ribbon symbol color is purple. (I hear that 'ding-ding' of the shopping bell...there is so little purple in my closet)

I've also learned that Hodgkin's patients cannot be blood donors for at least 10 years. This has been deeply disappointing news for my daughter; she had already made the 2 Gallon Club.
It suddenly occured to her that she had an answer to so many people who wanted to "do" something for her. She made the request on her CaringBridge post, and I decided to suggest it here as well. I've never done it before. Guess I won't learn any younger, lol. If you'd like to learn more too visit here.

I wish I had more time for flickr posts and visits. This was supposed to be for Toys in the Frame Thursday, but I think I missed it. Maybe I'll try for Happy Purple Tuesday....*(sigh)*
I hope I can pop back tonight for some visiting. If I miss you, have a great holiday weekend!

That 1st step....

That 1st step....
Originally uploaded by Moonflower Studio

When someone you love begins chemo your own experience is surreal. Especially if that someone is your child- even your fully grown child.

I found a rather bizarre parallel. It’s like watching them go bungee jumping. You stand there, not wanting to project your fears onto them. Is it lame to wish her good luck? Your mind races close to the speed of light; it must be that fast cuz everything else seems to be in slow motion. You know once she steps off that platform, there is no turning back.

…and there she goes. The list of ‘what if?’ questions is so long you never get to ‘why?’ And was it your imagination, or did one of Harry Potter’s enemy dementors just slip in and out of sight? How many times is this thing gonna go UP…or DOWN?

When she is back on solid ground do you grab her in a hug-or let her catch her breath? You try acting nonchalant, looking for clues on how to behave. You admire her courage, but keep it to yourself. You ask, “So, how was it?”

Her face is pale, but her eyes are bright. She says, “I’m gonna do this AGAIN.”

She was, and always will be my bouncy baby girl.

Family Tag

Family Tag
Originally uploaded by Moonflower Studio

These are my girls. The smaller one on the left is my granddaughter, Sarah. The fabulous shutterbug on the right is my daughter, Shannon.

Theirs is a work-in-progress…’tagging’ the wall of Shannon’s scrapbooking room. The missing word to be filled in is “Buttercup”. Shannon very frequently greets friends with “What’s up, Buttercup?”

I chose this “work-in-progress” shot to represent my family’s current state.

Some flickr friends already know that this dynamic duo is facing some struggles. Sarah had surgery Thursday to have two extra bones removed. It’s a syndrome that usually affects one foot. Sarah’s doctor told her she was special to have two feet involved. She will spend the remainder of summer and fall confined to a wheel chair or walker. Not easy for an athletic cheerleader. But as she is bouncy-by-default, I expect she will display her determination vibrantly as the paint on this wall.

This, I believe, will be a source of inspiration for her Mom, who is becoming much less bouncy. After Sarah’s surgery was already scheduled, Shannon was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a cancer of the lymph nodes. Weeks of testing have determined the severity of the disease and course of treatment. The prognosis is good and full of hope. Chemo was postponed due to Sarah’s surgery; preparing for it was not. Whatever joys of summer left to be had were crammed into the remaining hours.

It’s why I have been MIA on flickr. It’s why I expect to continue more extended absences. I will be Shannon’s chemo buddy. She’s one of my girls.

Cancer is just another wall we ran into. Hard.  Now that we’ve dusted ourselves off a bit, I see that wall as another one to tag. With the word to be filled in: HOPE.

I want to thank the friends who have known about this for their support, words of encouragement and their prayers. I’ll be back when I can; until then I’m busy playing Family Tag. ♥With my girls♥

Memorial Day

Memorial Day
Originally uploaded by Moonflower Studio

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”
Eskimo Proverb

Remembering with reverence those we have lost, remembering with respect all who have served or are serving. Remembering with gratitude the service of all, and the families who support them.
Thank you.